Tuesday, May 03, 2011


As usual my life is a hot pot of contradictions and mixed emotions. Generally speaking I feel very lucky to have everything I have in my life. I am very grateful for my career, my marriage, my children, my home, my ability to travel internationally, my grandmother's miraculous recovery, the well-being of my family. The other side of this is the fear of it all falling apart. The dark thoughts, the paranoia I just can't shake...something will happen to my husband, to me, to one of my girls, my job, my parents, my siblings, my nieces...no where on that list was 'something will happen to make you afraid of Marrakesh'. If you asked me a week ago whether or not Marrakesh was safe for visitors, I am positive that I would have judged you just a bit for even ASKING...And now...I feel like the joke is on me.

My heart goes out to you Kech. I have loved and supported you for as many years as I can remember. Before I came to Morocco I read about you obsessively in this book. In a way Marrakesh, you are responsible for everything I have now. it was when I visited you that I felt at home in Morocco. It was your stories and your history and your hosting to foreigners and artists and musicians from far and wide that drew me to you, that welcomed and seduced me. You are the jewel of Morocco. And I fully support you.

And this is not a good-bye. This is not a breaking up. But I need some time. To move on, to digest. I need some time. And that even hurts me to admit. Because if you had asked me a week aGo if I would like to go to Marrakesh for the weekend, I would probably judge you a bit for even having to ASK me! Because the answer would be a resounding YES. YES, YES, and YES. Anytime, any day, Marrakesh, Djema el Fna, the Medina, hell yes, I am there.

It is in the most solemn of humbleness that I offer my condolences to those that lost their lives last week. It could have been any of us.