So…I have not written on here in months and months. I am not sure if I even still deserve this place! Is life any less brilliant since last time I wrote? Absolutely not, there is more brilliance than ever.
I wanted to wait until this was final to announce it. Now it is final. I divorced. Yes, I know again, another breakup, another upheaval, another letting go of dreams and hopes and wishes about the future. This time…with kids included. Wohoo, you know that is fun.
The truth is this: It hurt very badly. I still sit with the pain, digest the scope of it all, cry at inopportune times.
The truth is also this: I am clearer, calmer, more sober and peaceful than I have ever been in my life. I am so very grateful to my ex. for giving me my children. These particular children could only have been born to he and I and nothing will ever make me regret or want to change that. Ours is still a grand love story, but now it has changed. As all things do, our story has changed. My story has a twist ending. Someone told me during this whole mess, “You will be ok, even if it the future doesn’t look how you imagined it”. No truer words have ever been spoken.
I am so happy and so grateful for everything I have in my life. I lost a marriage, but I have gained so very much. New people have come into my life to help and nurture and hand hold me along on this incredibly transformative process. I believe in love more than I ever have. I am convinced that love is the most fundamental element of our existence.
So…I am still living in my beloved Morocco, not planning on going anywhere as I quite love my life here and am very grateful for everything and everyone in it.
The girls made it into a great school that will bring them a 4th language and I could not be more proud and more excited for them. I have made major professional advancements and life is good at the moment. Even if it’s not the way I expected it to look, the view is still very nice.
Now that I have gotten this announcement out of the way, I can start my writing here again.