Thursday, June 23, 2011

Mami Hajaa

In french grand mother is Mami. That was quite hard for me to accept as it sounds exactly like mommy. I took me a while to grow into my name as mamma as I always assumed that I would be mommy. Never the less, I got used to it. The girls have a fabulous Moroccan Mami here. I have always called her hajaa. So now - I call her mami hajaa. I know some people make fun of it - but I could care less. I love calling her that and I am teaching my girls to do so as well. Important to note the irony in my dad choosing papa as his grandfather name and papa being the french word for dad. That situation is easy enough though because the girls call their dad the arabic baba and we all love that.

So back to Mami Hajaa. This woman was my friend while I was preganat and emotional and had no family. She made sure I was dressed correctly, knew who everyone was in the family and their life stories. She took me under her wing and those wings do have such a very large span. I love her dearly. She has never, not even once, engaged in an argument with me. She has always chosen the high road. She puts her son's happiness first by not interfering or trying to turn him against or make him or choose or any of the other weird things that a mother in law can do to alienate their son from their wife. She came to my home everyday all day for 40 days after my children were born. She made me breakfast, lunch, dinner and tea after I woke from napping and left me alone in my room to breastfeed and nourish my two premautre babies back to health. I will foever be indebted to her for her acts of kindness and her gentle loving and above all classy spirit.

She is not easy to take sometimes, she orders everyone here and there and no sooner have you started to do one task  she asks of you than she tells you to do another. She is relentless. She does not stop working from morning to night. She is 70 years old. My children love her. Sophia dances like her. Mae's middle name is her first name. We are here just now...more than any other be near her. To spend these years with her. Every single time I get ready to throw in the towel I think of her and how I want my kids to have this time with her. But the beatuiful thing is that she wants what is best for us and would support any move we decided on. Currently -  We see her once every two weeks sometimes more sometimes less.

My parents are younger and there is a huge space in my heart and in my girls life from not having all of their grandparents around that no one single person can replace...but I am very thankful for mami hajaa. I hear horror stories of other people's mother in laws and relatives and everytime I am so grateful for Youssef's family.

My girls will know her and carry her love with them for their entire lives. 

Here are some recent photos of the girls with her:

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