I guess it's a good thing when your life has been so filled with trauma and stress that you really start to appreciate the little things. My father always says, "It's the little things that'll get you". I believe him, it's also the little things that'll save you, rest you and aide you in making it through another day of all the shit your wading through. The little things that I'm thankful for this morning are this
A really good cup of fresh ground coffee, an extremely pulpy glass of orange juice and a free hour to write and take care of myself. Life isn't that bad this morning. I say that with a small measure of precaution only because every time I have said that over the past few months, it has been directly followed by something way bigger than I thought I could deal with! I'm sick of that feeling. I just want to be out of the woods.
I love my boyfriend. We aren’t in a perfect relationship, but we are in a good one. Sometimes we argue and get on each other’s nerves. Sometimes when he puts his hands too close to mine and I don't feel like having anyone in my personal space, I will push his hands away ever so slightly. It is the same thing I do to my sisters or mother if they are 'up in my face' (which isn't that uncommon). But I do it to him too, I think it's because I expect him to be around so long that pushing him out of my way a little is a sign of that comfort with his presence in my life. It's the first time it's ever matched up with anyone. We're equals. That means that a lot of compromising has to go on between us. The good thing about that is that we mostly like the same stuff so we don’t' have to argue about what to do or how to spend our time. Sometimes I get upset because we don't appear to be like other couples, like all gooey eyed and supportive and loving (unless were drunk). But about that, I am working on that being okay, it's okay that we are different than that. We 'act' like ourselves. And I guess I'm just the type of person that is much more likely to get pick a fight with you than to stop and supportively make eye contact in a crowd of people. That's just who I am. It's not my fault; I blame it on my family!