Sunday, December 28, 2008

Casa



I have the ticket. I am on the way. I am officially leaving again. Currently disconnecting utilities, packing my bags and weeping about leaving my dog behind. This is one of the most thrilling and terrifying phases I have been through in a long time. This blog will be a go-to place for me to update and inform on the developing brilliance of my move. SO, here is the deal:

I am moving to Casablanca in February of 2009. For the past 7 years of my life I have been here in Atlanta trying to figure out a way to get back to Paris. While I was pursuing my university degree that was fine. I was in school, I had a plan. After graduation, the international jobs were not exactly pouring in so I fell into a pattern of thinking that it was impossible to leave, that no opportunities were there for me.

And then I started applying...

2008 was supposed to be my grounded, happy, "I'm okay where I am year". I finally let go, I opened my heart, I accepted my life and honestly tried to move on from my desperate longing for a different life than what I had. In other words, I settled. I was happy that way, I really was, kind of. My relationships deepened, my community roots grew like squash in June.

And then trauma (or more accurately - drama)...the atom bomb, the ultimate betrayal. In the course of a five minute phone conversation my life flipped completely upside down. I was shown a side of humanity that I will never fully grasp. That was July 14th, 2008. (Queue in the foggy fade into present day, me having a plane ticket BACK to Paris in hand)

It has been one hell of a ride recovering from the betrayal that I endured this year, and one day I will tell that story in it's entirety, when I am ready and able (not too far into the future). I have spent the past 5 months in turmoil for the most part, boredom for the rest of it.

A lot has happened for me this year. But even still I consider 2008 one of the best years of my life.

This blog will not turn into a travel log. This blog will remain a chronicle of my brilliant life. I am assuming that once I am far enough away to breath again, the memories will start flooding back in and I will need to write about them. This is where I will do that. Stay tuned.

~How I Feel About Paris Today~

I feel very hopeful, confident and happy that Paris will be so much closer to my life. I will have the opportunity to speak French probably on a daily basis in Morocco and that will ultimately aide me in my goal to be in Paris.

The decision to move to morocco was made for a number of different reasons. Paris was on that list. High on that list.


p.s. If you want to know more about where I will be LIVING my brilliant new life, click on the picture above.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The seat of your soul

Sometimes You think you have made the final decision, you are the captain of your ship and the coordinates have been entered! But then wham, not so much anymore. I am going to come clean with you people. A lot has been going on in my life in the past 5 months. More than any one person should have to endure. I have endured betrayal and heartbreak that could have ripped me into two pieces never to be reconciled again. I went into survival mode, I prayed without believing in prayer, I took sleeping pills to sleep at night. I was destructive with my friendships. I reached out to quell the pain physically regardless of the consequences. In other words I haven't been this screwed up in a long time! And then I decided to leave. America. For good. (well at least for a year, actually make that three years) I found a job, I had the interview I made announcements, I DECIDED. Or so I thought...then one day (last week) I received a write back on a position that I had forgotten that I applied for. Then I received a request for an interview. Then i had the interview, then I received the contract and now I am looking for plane tickets...to where you ask? Is the suspense killing you?

I'll give you some clues:
I will be able to speak French there
It is MUCH closer to Paris than Seoul
One of the largest themes in my life
For my linguistics peeps or even just those who know me well, can we say Sociolinguistic wet dream????? ringing any bells anyone? Still don't know...




~How I feel About Paris Today~

Way closer

disclaimer:
I reserve the right to change my mind about this at any point as this job search process is twisting and turning every single day. I will post with more details when things are more finalized. but so far it has been like this:

In the past three weeks I have (mentally and with job prospects) gone from:
South Korea to China to Prague to South Korea again and now to the above alluded to land. Who the heck knows where next!